Some times I just can’t catch my breath. The entire day rolls by without stopping for pictures, and I’m stuck standing at the end of the caravan, wondering why I’m being left in the dust.

I feel sometimes I disappear into the roles I play, whatever they may be to those in my life. Mommy, Wife, Daughter, Physician, etc.

Today I had a patient call me Hollywood. I was amused initially, not quite understanding it as I’d never heard it before, but when they explained it I had a hard time not snapping at them. 

You see, it wasn’t because of my looks or attitude or way of speaking. They actually thought I only work half days once in awhile, and that I’m rich, and “playing” at my job.

I was stunned, but somehow managed to politely explain that when I’m not in clinic I’m somewhere else working, but inside I was fuming. 

Why do other people get to judge what’s appropriate for someone else, when they only see a very tiny snapshot? Why does out of sight mean freebird? I haven’t had free moment in years!

We all do this a little, which is why I’ve been thinking about it. So why does it bother me so much when someone does it to me?

  I think it’s the assumption that I’m being lazy and that I have things better than the person doing the judging does. 

I do feel lazy quite often, but also desperately in need of more down time, and guilty about having that need. I should be able to do everything right? Be invincible and efficient and amazing at all times?

Maybe it’s because of how often I’m tired, or maybe because I compare myself to standards of other people living amazing lives while I feel like I’m doing the bare minimum. 

Or maybe because regardless of what others think about me I’m the same as they are, just getting through my days and wondering if it’s Friday yet.

My oh my what a wonderful day. Plenty of sunshine, right? 

Well yeah, if you can get through the rain clouds.  Maybe instead of so much judging we can appreciate Mr. Bluebird the brief moments he chooses to visit and forget about what others are doing. 

That’s a great thought.