I miss having a daily blog.

2019 has proven challenging in many ways, and maintaining regular posts of any form disappeared somewhere on the way to December.

A big part could be blamed on other writing projects, many which led me down a deep rabbit hole of editing and deadlines,

but part of it was me.

I didn’t realize how much I depended on daily work prompts to spark something, whether it was poetry or a rambling narrative. When those stopped coming to my mailbox, it marked the beginning of the end of the daily posting. When my daily challenge to myself ended at the one year mark, that was another nail in the coffin.

But then the days got busy, focus changed…

The usual excuses happened.

Now the holiday season is looming close once more and I’m feeling nostalgic for 2019 and the years preceding.

I realize my Thought Salad blog is something I would like to have in my life again.

That’s why I’m starting today.

I could wait for New Year’s, I suppose, and make it part of a resolution. 

But I’m a bit of a rebel, and prefer to do things for myself and on my own time.

I was reminded of that by the date.

Today is December 6.

The anniversary of the massacre at Ecole Polytechnique in Montréal.

A day I still remember, even though I was only eleven at the time and didn’t understand why anyone could do such a thing.

Dec 6, 1989.

14 young, intelligent women with their entire lives ahead of them, brutally murdered, in cold blood, in a classroom in Canada.

In a country that prides itself on fairness, hockey, and good coffee.

The original reports skirted the issue, downplayed the circumstances leading to the tragedy.

“An angry man”

“A sick individual.”

Today, there is no doubt what led to this unthinkable attack.

Misogny. Societal acceptance of violence against women, and a specific, targeted attack against feminists. Because the women attending that program counted as feminist.

They were stepping out of what was “nice”, doing what they wanted to do with their lives.

Engineering, sciences, “male” areas women have traditionally been discouraged from showing an interest in.

30 years ago,

and I can’t help wondering how far we’ve come as a society in terms of equality.

Women are still disproportionately likely to suffer violence by both strangers and loved ones.

One women in Canada dies every other day,

Once a week the murderer is someone they love.

Women make less money for the same work.

Two in ten women are sexually harassed in the work place.

I have been.

Multiple times.

But you carry on.

Why? Because we are used to the world being like this. Because it isn’t surprising. A colleague of mine posted a wonderful, thoughtful article about why so many women are uncomfortable having a pelvic exam performed by a male physician.

The replies were deafening,

and heartbreaking in many ways.

People calling it reverse sexism and saying it has to stop.

It isn’t reverse sexism when you are always worried someone will hurt you.

STOP BLAMING THE VICTIM AND START SEEING THE PROBLEM!

It makes everyone- men and women- uncomfortable to admit the world is not fair.

It is not equal.

(I will not go into all the ways, because I have to go to work still. Please believe me when I say I understand I am barely scratching the surface on the many ways the world is not equa.l)

Women are every bit as likely to support the status quo because they do not want to cause waves, or are scared, or for as many reasons as there are people. Men often do not see it because it does not affect them, or because they are afraid too.

Because what would the world look like if one day we all did wake up and change?

I truly believe most people are good.

I believe we all want to live in a world where people get along, are safe, and live happy, fulfilling and productive lives where we have a chance to create something amazing.

Today is a reminder for me how far we still have to go. 

Until we live in a society where everyone is equal, we have a lot of work to do. 

Until that day arrives,

There’s always room for self reflection.

My goal is to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem.

In 2020, I plan to see more clearly and act more boldly.

What about you?