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The beast in the cage
The pet of dread is back, Seemingly out of nowhere, But I always know it lurks, waiting for its moment It pounces suddenly, out of a good day, Creeping inside and twisting, Making doubts rise up again Did I do the right thing? Was something overlooked? My concience berates me, continually uncertain. My memories…
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Anticipation
Once again I’m in the storm before the calm, waiting for things to move onwards. I’m stuck in the middle where I anticipate big things. I’m at the end of editing for my first book baby, eager to polish it until it shines and send it out into the world to sink or swim. I’m…
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Fall memories
September is here. Today I saw pumpkin spice lattes for sale again, a sure sign that fall is coming. I walked out of work to step on the familiar crunch of yellowed leaves, curled and wrinkled on the sidewalk, and felt a strange happiness suffuse my soul. I texted my mother, and our conversation turned…
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August 31st
Another milestone, left behind in my rear view mirror. I watched as it passed without fanfare or excitement, Another day in a string of days, the last day of another month. I dressed with the weight of change on my shoulders, pressing down slightly, asking if I knew what I was doing. I brushed it…
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Pinterest isn’t my wheelhouse
I’m tired today. Another Monday, and I found myself sitting in the car for a few minutes on both ends of work- When I got there to psych myself up, and then when I got home, to breathe. I knew on the other side of the door my family waited, but I was so tired…
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Fight Night
I wonder what kind of drive it takes to want to be the best of the best. I like to make a decent showing, But I haven’t ever felt the need to be number one, as long as I’m not the last in line. Watching the fight tonight brought back the question, What kind of…
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Silent Goodbye
I woke up this morning, within minutes feeling anxiety lodge in my chest. It was a deep discomfort, like I was forgetting something, The tightness moved in to stay, deciding to inhabit the area around my heart. I’ve had this same sensation a handful of times, and now know what it means, although I wish…
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Sunday night blues
It’s a strange feeling that has taken over me as I sit and look out my window. I watch in a trance as the neighbour over the fence mows their lawn. I’m not at all interested, but my eyes have welded to the spot while I contemplate this strange sensation. It’s almost like I’m a…
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The Dog Days of Summer
It’s been a busy summer. Sometimes, I wonder how my brain remembers half of what I need to do. I started a bullet journal this week, hoping it will help me keep my life in order. I spent an hour on it the first day, and haven’t looked at it much in the last two…
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Days of Gold
Every week I go in, checking on them as I do my rounds. Ensuring no one needs anything, and if they do, that they receive as much care as I can give. Some days are rough, though not because of illness, but because of the memory of health The heartbreak comes in the moments of…