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Heavy
My stomach feels as though it’s lined with a weight. Loaded up with rocks and set adrift in the ocean. I could lecture myself all day about the need to breathe and stay positive, but today just isn’t one of those days. Something in the air, perhaps. Or maybe it’s the number 13. I’ve always…
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Goodnight
She said her goodbyes today Her “I’ve had a great life, and oh, the times I’ve had” I smiled and tried to brush the implications aside, said “I’ll see you next week.” She smiled, closed her eyes, but didn’t respond. Suddenly, just when I thought she’d fallen asleep, her eyes opened, sharpened, “Look after him…
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Warmth and silence
It was a grey and silent day where I am. A quiet work environment, with clouds that seemed to touch the ground. I felt the weight of silence on my soul today. The other shoe so close to dropping for one, two, several people. Beyond my reach and out of my control. I know enough…
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Leap
An aching hole left behind A cavity of space Between what is and what was Change is never easy Uncertainty brutal and unkind I laugh at my own hesitation And do nothing But wait until my time More each day I realize how short Life is Fleeting A run with a stopwatch Off a cliff…
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The dance
A faded corner in a crowd A silhouette without a face I look around for clarity But return empty from the chase The winter is cold and brutal My faith lacks for strength Each day drags with exhaustion No shortage in its length Some days last forever An eternity in a glance I close my…
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Burn the witch!
I’ve walked through today feeling guilty for some reason, like I forgot to do something. Like maybe I was tardy for an event, or stood someone up. It’s the feeling I’ve gotten in the past when I know that I’ve let someone down, but for the life of me, I can’t think of a single…
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Ten months
I just got a notification from bluehost, the company that owns my domain for thoughtsalad, reminding me that it was due for renewal in less than 60 days. When I first signed up to write my blog, it was as a personal challenge. I wanted to unload from the sometimes emotionally exhausting work that I…
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Horizon
The clouds obscure the edge, world dropping off unannounced The horizon stretches out, the distance pronounced We travel this world naked and alone wrapped in illusions that feel like home Unique to our experiences, no two the same, we struggle and learn, solitaire our game At the end of our journey, Our own judgement we…
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Expiry date
It always comes as a shock The rusting of the vessel expiration dates That come too soon Tides and seasons wait For no one Life a series of blinks, Too soon flying away Another breath catches, Releases, Fades into the dark night Alone at the end, The body crumples Then lies silent, Waiting for the…
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The big picture
Everything changes but stays exactly the same. A constant repetition of days, variations on a theme. I think of composers who brilliantly altered the tune just enough to make the ear confused, but soothe it at the moment of distress. Nothing is static, life changes eternally. A loop of circumstances, circle of events. Dirt isn’t…