I wonder if life would have been different if I hadn’t been in the middle.
growing up, worrying about being on time, getting everything done on time. feeling guilty if I didn’t do what I was supposed to.
Being responsible.
sensible
prudent
I was always dependable. The designated driver, the worker who would pick up the extra shift.
taking sciences in university instead of the arts, as it was more logical to get into medicine
if you understood the sciences.
but what if?
my soul never sang to microbiology the way it did in history or english.
never crooned in chemistry as it did in psychology.
people have always intrigued me so much more than physics.
and now that I’m a responsible adult with a family and a job and a house and 3 cats and a dog,
I’m playing at being myself again,
writing in the early morning hours, free of the dogma of doing the right thing
finally letting my dreams fly free of prudence. Snipping the ties to the tether of shoulds and dreaming into the sky instead.