A a child, I remember wanting people to notice me, realize how amazing and special I was and shower me with gifts and adoration. 

I’m pretty sure everyone has a little Cinderella tucked inside their soul,

A need to be considered valuable by those who are important to you, whoever that may be.

As I grew, that need never left exactly,

 but it changed shape. 

Do well in school, and people would be happy and by extension you would be happy. 

Follow directions at work, work hard, and people would be happy.

Everybody happy happy happy

The older I got the more I realized that it was impossible to make everyone happy, 

often I was doing well just to keep my conscience happy. 

Then I entered the world of medicine, where mistakes matter and screw ups will gain you recognition in a way you do not want to get. Instead of famous,

Notorious 

And that is when you really want people to not look at you. So you keep your head down, try to be diligent, don’t forget the details even when you are a big picture type

I got good at this from the beginning,

not wanting to be noticed in case I was wrong,

getting the check list done, 

smiling and listening,

Replaceable and interchangeable cogs in a bigger machine 

Surprised one day when a little voice shouted, “I love your drawing” as I left the room, 

mortified my tattoo was showing, worried about the professional repercussions.

And yet, 

no one else ever noticed.

Now ten years later, I smile about the time I was famous, 

if only in the eyes of a five year old with a cold 

who loved my drawing