We always talk about first impressions. What you recall of someone at the first meeting, what they were wearing or how they spoke, what they said.

But what about last impressions? It’s not something I’ve had discussions about, 

but it is something I think about daily with the way my life intersects with others.

Often I can’t “fix” people, can not heal what ails them. My hands are sometimes tied when it comes to my ability to even tell them what’s wrong with the body that is failing them.

I’ve witnessed death and birth and everything in between

I’ve shared private moments and horrible experiences,

Been there for bests and worsts for a multitude of people.

Some feel like family  to me, 

we’ve been together so long 

while others are quite literally a ship that has sank in the night.

My last impressions are often brutal and sad. Watching the light leave and the eyes cloud, 

seeing pain of both existential and physical nature overwhelm and then dissipate.

What do they see?

 What is their last impression of the world?

 Do they want to have one more minute, 

or rush away faster, 

leaving behind the suffering?

Families, too, 

burdened by sorrow,

 I speak with and part from, gone from my life forever. 

Was it enough? 

First impressions can change, but the ones at the end are final, and irreplaceable. 

Is it enough? 

I don’t and can’t know, 

at least, not yet.

 But one day I will have a last impression too