I had a water based epiphany this morning. I can’t help but wonder if the reason Archimedes had his Eureka moment was simply because of the soothing mindlessness that accompanies water. Maybe it’s the primordial nature of it, maybe it just feels cool and calms us enough for the subconscious to thrive.

Whatever the reason, I had a moment this morning while washing dishes.  It was a small moment, as they so often are, but one of those moments that calls to you quietly, biding you to listen carefully. 

It’s funny how moments that change the course of your life happen so fast, so unexpectedly. I’m reminded of all the times where I got a ‘feeling’ that I acted on, and how the feeling never led me astray even when sometimes it didn’t make sense. Other times, I pushed the feelings aside and used my logic to disastrous outcomes. 

I’ve learned to take note when I have a feeling, although I’m still not perfect at following my gut over my brain.

Today’s moment was one of peace, and acceptance was the message. I’ve been wrestling with an issue at work that’s only peripherally related to my actual job. It’s been painful on my pride and my feelings, and has left me feeling bewildered. I was trained that the behaviour was unacceptable, uncollegial, something I thought was understood by everyone as part of the culture of medicine. 

It triggered my “it’s not fair” button, and I’ve been dwelling, as only a middle child can dwell. 

But today while washing dishes I had a triumph of peace and acceptance over the doubt and hurt, and I truly feel okay with the way things are. I’ve fully considered all my options, and at this time I have none that are reasonable other than staying the course.  Sometimes just knowing and making a decision goes a long way towards fixing an issue.

In the end, the situation will go away eventually, somehow. I will  continue to do the best I can and treat others as I wish to be treated. 

I will let go of the anger and bad will towards the person I believe responsible, as it doesn’t matter. They are human too, and maybe the reason the situation is present is because they fill a need for others in a way that I can’t, and that’s okay. I can’t be all things to all people. 

The acceptance comes with forgiveness and relief. I’m relieved that I won’t let this bother me anymore. 

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured 

Mark Twain said it best.

Thanks, Mark. I bet you were hilarious, and hard to live with sometimes,too