Category: Thoughts on life and death

  • Both of Me

    Friday. A day that many weekday workers rejoice at, pray for, and anticipate all week long. I have become one of them since having babies 6 years ago. Before that, I knew the joy of 32 day weeks, 144 hour days, and months in a row without vacation. This is a much better speed of…

  • Symphony 

    Tonight I watched our wedding video with my husband of almost seven years.  It feels like yesterday I met him for the first time, although he says we met earlier, years before. He remembered me, and thought I was loud.  I didn’t remember this meeting, but was, and still am, a little offended that was…

  • Foggy

    Today felt like it should have been a foggy day. I started off feeling like my vision was blurrry, which lasted the whole day but I forgot about it as I grew accustomed.  Like a pair of dirty glasses that you only notice when you take them off. I felt every inch of my age,…

  • The middle

    Always stuck between others, desperately wanting to shine.  Between a child with more knowledge and ability, and a younger, cuter version. I watch my princess with compassion, knowing the burden she bears. Not the baby, not the first, she feels invisible at times, searching for the love and attention she so craves I remember that…

  • July 31st

    The last day of July is here. I would say finally, but the truth is, I feel like it was May a minute ago.  It also feels like this happens more and more often now that I have children, and I’m not sure why. Could it be the fact sleep deprivation makes you forgetful? That…

  • The Secret of life

    Another weekend flown, back at home with the kids tucked into bed I think about my life. I wonder how did I ever deserve all the blessings that I have? Life may not be perfect, but it’s so amazing. My kids are hilarious, wonderful and happy. I’m mostly healthy, and I have good people around…

  • The Pest

    Sometimes it’s frustrating to have a sibling And by sometimes, I mean almost always The pick, they push, they nag, they whine Getting closer to the last nerve, all of the time They always want the same things, never share Never give the first turn, never want to do my game I don’t even know…

  • Civilization

    Sometimes I wonder where society has gone wrong Are we at the beginning of another great decline?  Civilization crashing, imploding, while people remain focused on themselves, Shallow, Uncaring, unknowing. Watching the suffering of others from arms length, As entertainment Social media makes spectators of us all,  watching the gladiators  bleed and die On the cross…

  • The occult 

    It’s silent,  hidden away,  Never discussed,  never acknowledged. Shameful,  damaging,  isolating When love is dangerous,  where do you hide? When you can’t trust your  own memories, Who do you tell? Soft bruises hide the damage  within, Loss of innocence, The destruction of trust  Unable to accept any hand  that is offered Because you don’t know…

  • Back to reality

    Back to work today. Strangely exuberant about it,Leaving my house and all its denizens behind, In my car with my tea,  just me and the open road,  a podcast, and a snack, on my way back to being a useful, productive member of society.  I was surprised by the level of relief I felt.  I…