Category: Thoughts on life and death

  • Imposter

    What if they notice? realize I’m a fraud? Would they string me up, send me to my God? Will they judge me, lest they be judged back? The luggage of doubt  which I carry in my sack. With age comes experience, with experience dismay. I thought I’d get smarter, but I’ve got nothing to say.…

  • The cold

    Oh man.  Rhinovirus is not just a funny sounding disease.  At least, I assume that’s what I have right now, based on the exceptional quality of the congestion and scratchy throat that I’m experiencing. Luckily, it was a light day. My six year old diminutive doppelgänger had her follow up with the ENT, and managed…

  • Memories of influenza 

    Today blurred as it picked up speed around me. I found myself writing random dates in people’s charts, and had to correct at least half before continuing. First it was the day, then the year, and finally the month that escaped me. Once I finally figured out how to write the date, it struck me…

  • Driven

    What do you believe in?  What would you fight for, die for, give everything you have for? Is it a person, place or thing, do they love you back the same? Do you wake up every day,  eager to carry on? Or do you struggle to continue,  telling yourself, “Just one more day” Does your…

  • To give thanks 

    Fall and thanksgiving are irrevocably connected to me.  Today, I fulfilled a long held need that I didn’t have just a few years ago.  It’s been building this year though,  a sense of nostalgia and separation, feeling sometimes as though I am leading my life  on a superficial plane, Working, sleeping, going through the motions, …

  • A food lovers prayer

    The holidays are hard on a waist, this much is true. Get enough people together, Food is the glue  My stomach stretched and overfull, my mouth with an elastic ability,  to eat past common sense, past the point of debility  As each holiday comes and goes, I warn myself thus; Don’t eat that much again,…

  • Thanksgiving 

    This weekend is one of remembrance and family for me. For many people in North America and around the world, it also leads into the holiday season in the Christian world. As the leaves turn shades of gold and russet, the weather chills and the smell of decaying leaves and dirt surrounds me.  I picked the…

  • The real me

    I’ve never been accused  of being fashionable.  My hair has always been  too unruly,  my taste in clothing  a little too comfortable. I like eating,  a little too much for a perfect figure, And laugh way too loud  at my own jokes. I cry at commercials  and blush at the drop of a hat. I…

  • Photographs

    Sometimes life is a challenge, and sometimes it’s truly amazing, and sometimes you slide into reflection accidentally.  I was on Facebook, doing what you do with Facebook when I came upon an article-  10 times your parents were cooler than you are. I looked at the pictures from the sixties, seventies and eighties. A wave…

  • Internal motivation 

    What drives you? Where does your interest lie? Could you work all day? Or would it make you cry? What makes you get up and out of bed? Is it the lure of the dollar, or a desperate need for bread? Is each day a struggle to fulfill a basic need? Or is it a…